The Patron Saint of Losing Sleep

When I was living in a college dormitory, it was with one of my best friends. It was an interesting time. Typically they say one of two things will happen when you live with a friend.
A) You get along famously
B) You end up trying to kill each other (I’ve heard this is more common)
Strangely enough, in my case niether A nor B was the outcome. By the end of our school year, I was still ok with my friend, but he wanted to kill me. The split decision is something that I contribute to our opposite personalities, and his problem with close quarters and sharing, though our friendship wasn’t affected permanently. Earlier in the year, the building held one of those “friendship building” exercises in which roommates were to be asked questions about one another, the group with the most right answers receiving a prize. We signed up for the contest, thinking ourselves shoe-ins for number one. We quickly began to realize, as questions started to whiz past us with no traces of answers to them, that there were a lot of things that we never talked about. Sensing imminent demise, we went about the contest in a way that any two friends would in such a situation….

We signaled as many answers to one another as we possibly could, and though a room full of people were glancing here and there, nobody saw the exchanges going on right in front of them. (get rid of your frowny dissappointed face, I’d like to have seen any other pair there talk to each other silently from across the room.)

That, my dear readers, is true friendship.

So very restless.

Is Decisions, Decisions by The Starting Line.
Just in case you want to look it up before I get the chance to post it, which will most likely be tomorrow.

I’m not a huge believer in good and evil. I never have been, and I never will be. There are so many different human perspectives in this very populated world of ours that what you view as evil is truthfully and in reality only the equal and opposite perspective that happens to line up with yours (intangible physics again, chaos theory at work). The thing is, I’ve been on both sides. I’m the son of a preacher, and starting from religious extremes I worked my way to the center and spiderwebbed out as far as the social aspect of humanity goes. Satinists have no traction when it comes to the supernatural (in reality they have little to no understanding of the supernatural, they only think that they do) wiccans are misunderstood and if you’re searching for supernatural potency, all you have to do is look no further than the agoraphobic haunting the nearby curiosity shop (they are afraid of public and crowded places for a reason). Other than that, few factions, alignments, or parties hold any real or overwhelming clout (both supernaturallym and as far as the traditional idea of good and evil goes), and the only dangers I’ve found to society are simple misunderstandings and people who lack the ability to understand a perspective that is not their own. (unfortunately, there are a lot of them.) True “evil” I’ve only seen once or twice. I’d rather not talk about that though, because chances are you’ll never come across it. I have one tattoo. I’ve had it on my shoulder blade since I was eighteen, and it was put there by the girl who served as the doorway to my understanding that to know what line you walk, you have to understand the nature of everything that relates to that line. It happens to be the hylian crest, a popular symbol from the legend of Zelda games. But that isn’t the only thing it means to me. The first videogame outside Mario I ever played was legend of Zelda. As I began to play more of them over the years, the main point I got out of all of them was this: You are the hero of your own story. I know it’s a bit abstract, but there you have my general way of looking at things. Every link in every game is different. Every player that plays the games themselves is different. From everyone’s point of view, they are the hero. And unless they thought like I did, they most likely continue to believe that “right” and “wrong” are not entirely subjective to point of view. And Ive never even finished a philosophy course.

We might co-exist, but we are not friends. I need to find a wormhole around here somewhere that I can just disappear into for a while and write and listen to music and do research for a few months without anything to bother me. And when I’m ready to come back, I’ll pop into being again at the same moment I left. Maybe I don’t even need a wormhole, maybe I just need to stop time. I’d take a friend or two with me, and we could just disappear in the moment. I need another person around anyway. This book isn’t going to write itself, and I could use some external motivation. Or a muse. That would work as well. I think I still have a muse, but she’s too far away to kick me into gear. Hey anyway if you’re reading this and you get a box in the mail in the next few days with a button that says “Push to stop” don’t hesitate, don’t think, don’t even bother to write back beforehand, just push the button. Until then I’ll be sitting around in the real world looking for the pause button, or the door, or whatever it is that will get me out of here for a while.